Crucial Conversations key take aways

• Crucial conversations have:
• Opposing opinions
• Strong emotions
• High stakes
• When under stress do I
• Go to silence – withholding meaning
• Go to "violence" – trying to force meaning
• Controlling - forcing others to agree with me
• Labeling - discrediting the speaker
• Attacking - belittling, threatening
• How to make it safe:
• Mutual purpose, common goals
• Mutual respect
• Do they believe I care?
• Apologize if needed
• Common stories
• Victim – it's not my fault
• What can you do? actor
• Villain – it's all your fault
• Why would a reasonable, decent person do this?
• Helpless – nothing I can do
• What do you really want? What would I do if I really wanted those results?